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Asininity in C minor

This past Saturday, I attended a concert at church. It was a cello concert to be exact featuring cellist Anne Martindale Williams. If you were not aware, Anne is the Principal Cellist of the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra since 1979. I won’t give you her biography as that’s not stranger than fiction.

The concert is open to the public. In the city of Philadelphia, many people are always on the alert for free entertainment. So there were casual passers by who decided to pop in for the concert. I did mention that this concert is in the church building right?

So anyway, I sat in the balcony as I usually do during a concert. I’m short so sitting on the ground floor means I can’t see a blessed thing. As the concert began, a college aged couple walked into the balcony. I didn’t pay them any attention. During the first half they listened quite attentively. But during the intermission, I think the guy must have been acting up, because I overheard another young man (whom I believe is a regular church attender) tell the usher about some “guy with blond hair.” But it could have been anyone, so I didn’t pay it any attention.

The second half started, and this couple changed seats. So now they were in my line of vision. Well they giggled and talked through the second half. As you can well imagine, I was a little pissed. So I began constructing a torpedo launcher out of my bulletin and prepared to launch one of the pew Bibles at their heads. I jest. I was about to go over their and teach them some “tough” love. Before I could do so, the man in front of them had had enough. Oh I forgot to mention, there are two tiers of seating in the balcony- a lower level and a set of box seats. These ignoramuses were sitting in the box. So the gentleman stood up and faced them. He was tall, really tall. He was able to put his face and arms on the edge of the box. (You can barely see my head if I were to do that; I’m 5’4”)It took the “love birds” a bit to pick up on the fact that they were being stared down. The man was nice about it. He told them to knock it off with a smile (which is not what I would have done). So he turned around and sat back down. The couple continued to giggle soundless. Then the guy, who is without a doubt the biggest jackass to walk the earth, gave the man the finger. Of course, he was too much of a coward to do it to the man’s face. They left shortly thereafter.

I could only sit there in amazement. First off who goes to a classical concert and giggles and talks their way through it? Come on, you had to know from the way that people were dressed it wasn’t a Grateful Dead concert! Second, you flipped someone off in the House of God. What are you asking to be struck by lightening? Perhaps you’d like a side of leprosy to go with that? What idiots! I really wondered at the scruples of that girl. Why on earth would anyone find a guy that is that much of a nitwit cute? It never ceases to amaze me how many people my and younger have no manners, no couth, and absolutely no sense of propriety whatsoever. Fortunately for them, they didn’t visit for church on Sunday; I may not have been able to bite my tongue.

So tell me about a time you attended a nice function only to have a jerk act out.

P.S. Asininity is the noun form of the word “asinine” which means extremely stupid or foolish.


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